Once, twice, a hundred times; marry and remarry until you’re where you want to be.
The church will talk, your parents will block you or stop talking to you, your friends will probably backbite your jumpy self but you know what, marry and remarry as many times until the heart says yes, until the gut is calm.
Ooh so and so will say, ooh…they will talk even if you stay in that abusive or unhappy relationship.
Marry. Change partners. Put them on a weighing scale. Vet them. They don’t match your standards, drop them! Imagine someone somewhere isn’t into you because they have their bar set up there, on top of BurjKhalifa. And you? You are gambling with your life, with your happiness because you just want to be seen in a relationship or a marriage.
You have to start loving yourself. It doesn’t work? Drop it. Move to the next unapologetically. You don’t owe anyone answers. It’s your life. Invite them to one hundred of your weddings each time with a note saying, ‘this is the one now.’
Until you are settled, don’t settle.
We are human and we best talk. We will talk anyways! Whether it works for you or not. Think about your happiness. Think about where you feel like you belong, where you are valued. Go there.
If we ask you how your husband is doing, ask us which number we are asking about.
The way our parents and grandparents were bred and how they held things together isn’t working in this era. A lot has changed and staying in a relationship because we want to look like we ‘made it’ is not part of the bargain. ‘Kuvumiliana’ is not quite working well for our era and it’s how we have many assault and murder cases.
Relationships are a good thing but if they are not working, they are not. The issue of forcing things because of kids or parents or church is what kills us emotionally and we eventually lose it entirely.
Learn to accept that it’s not what you expected and move on. Go on dates, marry again and again until you find that place where your entire being says yeeees, we home baby!
Make your own money, learn to be self-reliant so that when it’s not working, you are not sticking around, holding onto the last peg on the clothing line hoping for a change. Empower yourself enough that you can confidently walk away, work on your healing and just move on to the next person.
Remind yourself that this is not 1900. You can’t force yourself to be like your grandparents. You can’t hold onto things that are not working because you are afraid of hurting the other party or feeling guilty! You are very important to yourself. All else is a sideshow. Make you happy, the world will adjust.
Again, marry and remarry until you are satisfied. Until you are happy. You only live once. You will die-it’s not a matter of if but when. So live every little minute like your last.
Imagine dying and going to that other side and all you have to say is how you hated your partner because they peed loudly as if you couldn’t find a not loud partner. Or that your partner was so overprotective and couldn’t allow you out of the house and you couldn’t go to school because he feared you having a Masters or you not liking your partner beating you up…
Yooo, you have time to change things. Time to stand up for yourself. Time to choose happiness. The world will talk. Don’t settle for mediocre. You feel like you are where you shouldn’t be? Imagine you have a chance to roll over and start again. My friend, don’t hang in there?! For what? For who? For why? Walk away and find you a next. Learn to enjoy the moments while they last. Whatever happens, happens. Live each moment as it comes.
Hey, until you are settled, don’t settle. That thing of (Kenyanese ) ‘it’s a lifetime’, is not when things are not working out. If nothing is repairable, forget it. It’s not a must. And feel free to change your situation as many times as possible without feeling guilty. You deserve the best. Even with your 100th partner.
DISCLAIMER: VIEWS EXPRESSED IN THIS ARTICLE ARE THE WRITER’S. THEY DO NOT NECESSARILY REFLECT VIEWS OF VIUSASA.