THE SEVEN COMMANDMENTS OF AOKO: Refuse to be friend-zoned, never beg a woman and other ‘toxic’ masculinity traits every man should have

Forget politically-correct nonsensical connotations, there is nothing toxic about being stoic, strong, dominant or competitive as a man.

I will delve right into it;

1. REFUSE TO BE FRIEND-ZONED

Wikipedia explains friend-zoning as a relationship where one party wants to be romantically linked while the other just wants to be friends. Problem is, women often exploit this situation.

You become the guy who loans her money she never refunds and the one she whines to when some lousy fuck boy plays her. All you get in return are lousy hugs.

Being friend-zoned is a form of romantic abuse because she will do with you everything she would do with a boyfriend expect the things you really want to do with/to her.

2. SUCKING IT UP IS BEAUTIFULLY MANLY

Women are nagging, petty, whiny creatures who get kicks from stirring storms in teacups. Sometimes it is just the hormones especially when we are menstruating, but basically it is just who we are. But the world is a saner place because men are the opposite.

So you got friend-zoned, found yourself entangled in unrequited love, got served a buffet of blue-ticks? Suck it up. Do not be that frail, salty man, who handles rejection so poorly hoping to get sympathy from fellow dudes and maybe earn a Punani with your woishe rants as a form of catharsis.

Something other than genitalia must set women apart from men. So do not be bitchery like us and start telling a woman you hope she gets cancer, kidney failure, and a flat tire on the highway just because she turned you down– unless you have cramps and it is that time of the month!

Do not let romantic sitcoms and poorly authored guide books turn you into a sissy.

3. STOP ACTING LIKE HER BRO OR DAD WHEN SHE’S AROUND OTHER DUDES

Unless she is your sis or daughter stop telling the guy around the girl you like but could not get to ‘better be nice to her.”

Be nice to her or what? You’ll visit grievous bodily harm on the offender of the woman who rejected you for him?  We get it, you are jealous. You mistakenly got the impression this would paint you the benevolent benefactor of a race you respectfully withdrew from. It doesn’t.

It makes you the resounding loser of a contest you never got invited to. You’re not her bodyguard.

4. QUIT TRYING TOO HARD TO IMPRESS WOMEN

Wooing a woman is not like sprucing a resume for prospective employers. A Toyota is not a Bentley, that cottage isn’t a bungalow, and that body isn’t Idris Elba. Be reasonable, acknowledge your weak points.

5. YOU ARE NOT CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS. OTHER MEN WERE IN THAT COOKIE JAR BEFORE YOU, CHILL

Forget what women say when they are enthralled by your charm and your singing waist- you could be the tenth, or 100^th guy so stop acting like Christopher Columbus who allegedly (still disputed) discovered Americas. You did not discover her.

So relax and stop getting jittery over her body count or any bloke who came before you. They’re not retroactively affected by your insecurity and she’s not enamoured by it either. She’s with your funny face looking’ ass now, enjoy the ride. Nobody owns anybody.

6. DO NOT KISS AND TELL

There is a truckload of men code that I find to be nothing but bull-crap. They say men should not cry, I say wail if need be, screw your boy’s ex-girlfriend and break these other rules of the thumb that make straight-jacket souls. However, do not kiss and tell.

Stop regaling others with your sexual predilections. Most folks do not give a rat’s ass about your fetish desire for butt plugs, being rode while blindfolded unless it is during a drunken truth or dare rendezvous with your college buddies.

7. READ MY LIPS, PEN TIP- NEVER, EVER BEG A WOMAN WHO WANTS TO LEAVE YOU

If a woman wants you and wants to be with you, she will move heaven and earth to be with you. I am a woman, I know. So my guy, if the warmth has thawed and the distance keeps growing, if you are getting nauseated from the emotional rollercoaster she is subjecting you to and you are no longer the apple of her eye- it can only mean you have stirred her ire or she has found ecstasy in the arms of another.

Whatever the case that saw you lose the sparkle in her lenses, the situation is exacerbated when you beg for her attention or affection. So put on some ‘I’mma be okay’ song, pomp up the bloody freaking volume or cry in the shower and DM that other girl who has been liking your corny tweets.