Long-distance relationships need official leave days and hardship allowances

You’ve probably heard people say that long-distance relationships work if the four of you agree. By four, they mean the two primary partners and the supposed cheats each of you will have.


Well, not all long-distance relationships have cheats. Some people are seriously committed to making things work and that goes a big way.


That aside, people in long-distance relationships need leave or vacation every single day of their lives. Imagine not physically being together for months, years and the internet call restrictions that are in some countries.


So you want to speak to your partner but he or she is in Timbuktu! You are feeling aroused. You want some intimacy but you have to go to the soap/ vaseline way or toys.


You want to also post on social media and tell us about your bae, hubs, hubby, babe but heck! You can only post photos of your last meet up which was eight months ago!


Being in a long-distance relationship is a sport in itself. These partners need leave days to find each other and try to make it work! See like you get paternity or maternity leave, these ones are already struggling. They are breathing by help of ventilators and the best thing happening to them would be leave days or vacation days to see each other.



“I met Ken in Mozambique. I was on vacation but my flight was the next day. I was doing last-minute shopping and we bumped into each other in the same store. I didn’t notice him much so I kept shopping. He followed and asked for my number. Knowing that I was leaving the next day, I gave it out knowing he’d call and bounce,” Becky narrated.


Later in the day, Ken calls asking if they could meet for dinner. And who is Becky? Becky is a woman who would lose absolutely nothing meeting up a stranger for dinner at her favourite restaurant. So she takes up the offer.


“Things happened pretty fast. We ate, drank, and even had sex the very night. After all, if it weren’t to work, it would die a natural one,” she said.


Two days after Becky’s arrival in Kenya, Ken reached out and that was the beginning of a love made in a foreign country and also, a start to a long-distance relationship!


“Having seen each other just the other day, even though we didn’t interact much, we thought it would take time to start missing each other. Ken travelled to Kenya a month later to see me all the way from Australia. But our problems began when he left.”


They’d try seeing each other but it would always fail. Becky’s work didn’t allow her travel except for her leave days. Ken’s job involved lots of travel but none of it was to Africa.


“We started forcing the ‘visits’ because we’d done about nine months without seeing each other. So, for instance, I’d fly to countries that were 5-8 hours from me to meet up in the “middle” for a day and fly back. If this would fall on a weekend. I’d take Friday night flights. I did everything to ensure Monday morning I was in the office.”


They did this for about 4 months and it just became difficult. The flight costs, the fatigue, the energy involved…they stopped.


“We didn’t see each other for a whole year again. It was tough. Crying on phone and trying to make things work.”


And that wasn’t final. Ken then had an accident and couldn’t travel for a while. So they opted for other options.


“I decided to officially visit him. I’d take a sick leave and play around with a few other days and travel. At this point also, I was fed up and getting fired wouldn’t stress me out more than being in a relationship and not seeing my partner.”


She got an invitation from him and applied for a visa but it got declined over and over for different reasons and they gave up. This time, one and a half-years down without seeing each other.


Finally, though, Ken got well, came to Kenya and they married. Slowly things got batter and she received a visa approval and travelled. It has since been easier for them after the first approval and now she just resigned and will be joining Ken in the next few weeks.


“Distance relationships can really drain your energy. Already the hustle of trying to see each other is so much. Now if you are with someone that you don’t trust! Imagine the struggle.”


All relationships are work already. However, long-distance relationships should have leave days allocated to them and gazetted. These ones live life on the edge. In fact, they need hardship allowance. Feels like one of those extreme sports or some type of 1000 ways to make your heart stop thing.


Salute to all those genuine humans in love but going through utmost struggles to see each other. The government needs to reward you with special calendar days and bank you some allowances.