Dear sister, have you run out of luck in your quest to lure these city blokes to the altar? Are you tired of attending your friends’ weddings and getting teary every time you see a couple all mushy and mellow on social media? Are the prayers proving to be impotent? Well, change of strategy is a thing in the art of war- read- getting a man.
The problem is, most of you are busy scrambling and petitioning for ‘Sponsors’ and these sophisticated and ostensibly well-polished urban dudes most of who are just overrate wannabes. The real deal could be in the village- the men shunned; the forlorn and forgotten ilk in the dating scene.
They might not tweet pompous yet shallow political punditry on Twitter, or post sex jokes on Facebook- neither are they gullible to the optics of Instagram and are not inured to the fast-paced life in the city, but their time, energy and intellect is put in pragmatic use like teaching kids in the heart of Dumboini; engaging in agribusiness thus supplying city dwellers with tomatoes and kales.
They can make great partners and here are reasons why you should consider the rural men.
1.ARE SENSIBLE IN WHAT THEY WANT IN WOMEN
Njoro from Mushatha is not looking for a woman with the body of Sidika but who has Masters, Beyoncé’s sense of Style, has the wherewithal to analyze Politics, Tech, Environmental issues and oh, comprehends soccer, is well travelled not to mention ability to speak at least four foreign languages too.
Nay, all he wants, especially if he’s from Western Kenya, is a woman who can cook proper meals (read ugali and mboga kienyeji), loves and respects him, besides giving birth to a brood of in-house brats. Period.
2. SEX GODS
Village men have the energy of mules. Maybe it is because they do not gobble junk and snacks like rice and waru chemsha. They feed on brown ugali, Githeri and managu and will hold you down for hours in the sack. Well yes, their idea of romance might not be Eurocentric so woe unto you if you expect a scented hot tab with red petals, a glass of wine with Julio Iglesias crooning in the background but he sure won’t finish in three minutes, 20 seconds.
3. NO GAMES
Rural men date with the aim of taking you to his mama and making you a mama. City dudes will dangle marriage just only to practice Porn hub judo on you. Village guys are monogamous when dating and with the aim of settling down, city dudes collect women like artefacts for a gallery
Village guys save hard to afford bide price, city men rely on committees to finance their over budgeted weddings by coercing everyone into being in their wedding committees.
Many girls have been turned into baby mamas by these city men, especially this Microwave generation. Getting ‘paged’ by a city dude whose second name you barely know follows a vanishing act, but in the village, you can always send a delegation to his home! Date a City man and be sure that one year into warming his bed, handwashing his Jeans and cleaning his crib, the only people he would have introduced you to are his inconsequential drinking buddies or a distant and belligerent female cousin. But a rural chap will take you to meet his mother after the first month, and his brothers will start calling you shemeji.
4. EPITOMES OF MASCULINITY AND HARD WORKERS
If you want a man who will not compete with you for facials and scented lotions, get a rural bloke. Water and soap suffice for them. Bar soap for bathing and petroleum jelly when you insist.
They are home and dry with jeans and tucked soccer jerseys.
Plus, they don’t sit around the house shuffling between the couch, kitchen and toilet, remote control in hand; texting friends to bail their broke asses out. There are hardly jobless corners in villages, because they are either in boda boda business or in the farm.
A man who probably trekked barefoot to school on an empty stomach and struggled in the village to be someone in life, has a better perspective on life and makes for a better dating partner and potential mate than a city spoilt brat, whose life has been margarine on bread, spiced with endless binge drinking.
So if you are going upcountry this festive season single lady, be open minded to the prospects of a village ‘husband.’
Email- [email protected]
Facebook- Aoko Otieno
THE VIEWS EXPRESSED HEREIN ARE SOLELY THE WRITER’S AND DON’T NECESSARILY REFLECT THE VIEWS OF VIUSASA.