AOKO OTIENO: Yes, a woman’s place is in the kitchen!

Ah, I cannot wait to infuriate the thin-skinned, easily provoked feminists with the headline of this piece.

Every single woman, I am no exception, is wired to believe every man, especially one that can drive is capable of changing a flat car tire. So what is so acrimonious in believing every woman has the wherewithal to wow with her culinary skills?

It is infuriating and an affront to everything feminine that most millennials can barely whip a decent, tasty meal without struggling! Gone are the days when grandmothers, mothers, aunts, sisters and friendly female neighbours took to cooking with verve. Those women who made you look forward to ugali and sukuma wiki – despite the fact that Sukuma wiki is a bland vegetable that should pass for nothing less than food for goats-yet they would make it a delicious meal. You have no idea what they would do with chapatis or kienyeji chicken.

Before you start foaming from your mouth with that, ‘here she goes again hailing patriarchy,’ let me be clear; cooking is a basic life skill that every person, man or woman should learn.

My concern is that men who we thought cannot make anything other than eggs and tea are now better cooks and do not take food preparation lightly, especially in the city where they cannot sneak in and out of their mothers’ kitchens. Men are today better cooks because they have realized female liberation makes them susceptible to poor nutrition, vulnerable to manipulation and exposed to gout. Yes, many men are locked inside nutritiously unsound unions and relationships where they are served nonsense like sticky rice and burnt meat as food.

I have visited guys who prefer cooking than eating out and I was impressed. One made beef curry with yummy, layered chapos and it was love at the first scoop. Gentlemen, forget six-pack, ability to cook can get you laid faster than Bolt.

Watch out for these girls who appear sophisticated and will be on social media sites like ‘Let’s Cook’ claiming how they can prepare Hungarian goulash with coriander (coriander is just a fancy name for dania) to get the attention of a few blokes with over-bloated egos.

Her kitchen cabinet is stacked with dried out saffron, stale olive oils, mace and marjoram powder, meat tenderizer and vinegar which is nothing but display. Wait until she serves you mere tea that has been hurriedly brewed; it tastes like muddy water. I am not saying that a woman’s cooking skills should receive reviews on food magazine or a shout out from Chrissy Teigen, but at least put some effort.

Consequently, millennials who shy away from cooking have turned to take-away and junks and we have obese women everywhere. The sudden reversed roles where men can roll sleeves and come out of the kitchen with a healthy, tasty plate while women cannot put together a standard protein and carbs mixture can be blamed on two things:

One, most households are run by Domestic Managers (DM) who have taken the duties of wives. Daughters who grew up with maids would sit around and wait for the DM to cook and serve them as they get engrossed on Instagram.

Two, bloody feminists! These women have successfully propagated the belief that successful career management and domestic skills must remain estranged. The mess they have created is unfathomable!

Do not be a brat, even if you were raised as one. A woman, who can’t cook, is likely to endanger a budding relationship. No woman is above cooking. Cooking is not for stay-at-home moms, it is a prerogative even for ambitious girls like you.

Here is why as a woman, your place is in the kitchen- just as well as it is in the boardroom, and corporate corridors;

1. I’m sure you have no trouble attracting men with your beauty and intellect, but no matter how smart and beautiful you are, guys always melt for a girl who can cook an amazing meal. Degree is fine, but extracurricular activities still matter.

2. Cooking is healthy. Cooking nutritious food at home will give you sparkling eyes, shiny hair, healthy nails and glowing skin. Junk food creates spikes and dips in blood sugar that make you tired. Healthier food at home will give you the focus to stay sharp all day.

3. You’ll save money. Cooking at home is a great way to save money on food, freeing it up for you to use on other things.

4. If you intend to be a mom- if you ever plan to raise a family, your life will be a lot easier if you pick up some kitchen skills beforehand. Processed foods are bad for you and even worse for kids. Plan ahead for your future healthy family.

5. Cooking is like art and science all rolled into one. It allows you to build skills, be creative, de-stress and when you’re finished you have a wonderful and delicious product to enjoy (and even show off on Instagram).