Is anyone else tired of hearing the same screeches of “kwani aliona nini kwa huyu!” every time a man looking like bitter -leaves soup shows up with a stunning babe tucked in his arms?
Four months ago, Standard Newspaper ran an article titled ‘The Secret lives of Omar and the Keroche Heiress he dared to Love.” It reminded me of when the news over the death of Tecra Muigai Karanja quickly moved from sobs to indignation when photos of Omar surfaced online.
Omar, if I might be subtle with the adjectives, looks like a caveman deprived from the perks of civilization. He is way older, in his 50s, rugged, looks unkempt. Some even labeled him a woe begotten charlatan and social climber.
When Cape Verdean model Lara married Edo Governor in 2015, it was a sight right from Beauty and the Beast in Disneyland to Nigeria. Might I add that she is 27 years younger.
Now for those who have been wondering what the hell goes on in the minds of these women, let me spare you the agony. You see, those movie kind of good looks hardly count for much in real world. Looks serve women well, but men? Looks will not get you many miles in the sojourn that is life if that’s all you have. That explains why men who wear unappealing visage always seem to be ahead of their counterparts in the race to garner social appeal. A confident man with a hunch back has a higher chance of getting laid more often than a good looking guy with no spine.
The easy answer to this dating paradox is that these men have money, but Omar was not loaded when he met Tecra. These men are often loaded with something beyond money and that is charisma. It’s hard to define it, but it defies a fat belly and a face only a mother, or in this case- a lover could love.
These men that look like the sole of our shoes have a genuine love of women, a desire to be in our company, to please us, to pamper us – and the truth is we love it. No woman, born of a woman is beyond flattery and, strangely enough, a rotund, ugly man has a much better chance of hacking his way into our defense systems and charming his way into our pants and hearts.
You look at him and shudder at the thought of having him under the same sheets until he unleashes his magnet. That is not to say that women do not care about looks- that would be a lie straight out of the pits of hell. But the truth is, a handsome man with an empty personality and who is ugly in the inside can bore you to tears.
I’d choose a pot-bellied, hairy man who is sweet, thoughtful and level headed over a six pack worn by a conceited fool. Listen, the world is not filled with Idris Elbas and Rihannas. So If one looks like Magoha and the other like Kambua, that is what makes life unique and diverse and beautiful.
For some females, the aphrodisiac that draws them to these kind of men is the money. Imagine if Magoha was not an intellectual colossus who has made money in medicine and as an Administrator, who would take his humorless arrogance to bed more than once?
But for others, such as Omar, there is a real beauty and beast thing going on. How else would he pull an attractive, younger woman like Tecra? Interviews with friends and family carried by the Standard as earlier mentioned reveal him to be charm personified, a passionate man and a kind one, not that we mere mortals see much of that. But it would explain why a woman like Tecra would risk all for an affair with him.
Two other things that seem trivial but which has seen pretty damsels end up with ‘unlikely partners’- great sex and humor. A woman will be enamored to a man who can make her laugh. And she will do almost anything for the bloke who discovers the ever elusive G-spot.
You heard that right. Get it from a me, a woman. Good lumbering is known to cause temporary insanity in most women. A man who knows how to use his third leg is a god even if he actually looks like these Nigerian Igbo masquerades. So when a woman finally finds a woman who worships her body like a temple and sends her to heaven with every thrust, best believe, he might have a personal face, could be older and everything but she is going to date him- PROUDLY.
Listen fellas, even if you look like Stevo Simple Boy, do not fret, you can still get that cover girl kind of damsel. That macho, well chiseled gym rat body may attract women, but it won’t hold them down for long. That pot belly can still get you laid, as long as you accessorize it with a charming personality, a soaring a career and a solid wallet, women will still fall over themselves for you.
Some women love some beasts for their money or their power, but most women love a beast for the man he is inside. We may kiss a lot of princes on the way to finding our beloved frog, but find him we will.
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Facebook- Aoko Otieno
THE VIEWS EXPRESSED HEREIN ARE SOLELY THE WRITER’S AND DON’T NECESSARILY REFLECT THE VIEWS OF VIUSASA.