The relationship between Gospel virtuoso Guardian Angel and his wife has been a fodder for many a blog for the obvious reason- she is 50, he is 24.
Armchair relationship pundits have thrown in the spanners, keyboard paladins with negligible bundles and mummy issues have given their two cents, the sane, the haters battling corona induced depression and loneliness; well-wishers have also had their day.
It is Aoko’s turn to throw in a word or two on the same.
What is the charm that oozes from the wrinkling epidermis of older women that enthrals some of these younger men? I mean, older men have been frolicking with and even marrying younger women before the scramble and petition of Africa but when the script is flipped, it still becomes one of the most intriguing.
Internationally, we have the likes of French President Emmanuel Macron, and his wife Brigitte, who is 24 years older. “Aquaman” actor Jason Momoa, 40, still blushes when he talks about his wife, actress Lisa Bonet, 51. Here at home, investigative journalist Allan Namu is younger than his wife, Gospel Singer Bahati and Diana Marua are just but a few names we know.
With young women setting standards higher than Burj Khalifa, why wouldn’t young men go for the more mature mamas? An older woman is sure not to be too demanding of a man when all she brings is a PhD in attitude, skills in flipping weaves, bitching and bloody woishe.
Older women are a wealth in experience. Most of them have gone through not only the better part of formal education but have also had a few pertinent lessons instilled by the teacher of all teachers- LIFE.
What this means is that thanks to their knowledge from books, they bring an intellectual verve and swerve that can sustain an arousing conversation on a date or even during pillow talk. Try these obese millennials obsessed with Beyoncé, makeup, gossip and fat butts, all they can talk about without as much as a coma is Hollywood balderdash, socialites, fashion and entertainment gossip.
Call it generalization or whatever, but most young women in Kenya are deeply apathetic when it comes to African or World Affairs or let us just say anything that is not on Instagram. But the older they get, they begin to let go of myopia and expand their mental scope.
On life experience, it means they can dish very invaluable advice in terms of life decisions, career, education, friends and other facets of life because they have been there, seen that, done that. Plus, they are less likely to be sentimental like your Mama and are more sure to be pragmatic in churning the nuggets of wisdom.
And finally on experience; bedroom matters. An older woman is comfortable in her body and is confident. She is at peace with her cellulite ad perhaps baby fats. She is willing to let be led and to lead. Open-minded to experimenting and knows just how to please a man in the sack.
These mamas are more patient and more inclined to tolerate a few excesses of a man. Younger women will get mad for a mere late response to her message (guilty as charged) A blue tick gets some of us throwing tantrums that would make a toddler cringe with jealousy. These oldies would not rush to bad mouth her man with fellow nitwits of girlfriends on some lousy WhatsApp group.
In short, younger women have demonstrated that they can be a pain in the neck. And wallet. You are sure to get no pressure of nitumie fare, babe nibuyie, babe nifanyie these from menopause sniffing ladies. Imagine dating a woman whom you know is calm and settled and you will not be worried that she will be twerking somewhere just to get a dual-camera smartphone or for a Naivasha trip.
Truth is, one of the most reassuring and gratifying things especially in this man eat man, fast-paced life in Nairobi is being with a woman who can take care of herself. These other Obare followers will ask you for rent two hours after showing interest in her. Forget what your Masculinity demigods told you if there is an older woman somewhere you are eyeing and want to marry, by all means, shoot your shot. It can be the best thing that can happen to you.
I leave you with an excerpt from a letter written in 1745 by Benjamin Frankline in response to a young man who did not want to get married but wanted to keep a Mistress. Frankline was an American polymath and one of the Founding Fathers of the United States. He was a leading writer, political philosopher, scientist, humorist, civic activist, statesman, and diplomat.
In the letter, he wrote: “But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice, that in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these:
Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor’d with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreeable.
Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Diminution of Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a 1000 Services small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good Woman.
Because thro’ more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People might be rather inclin’d to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary Prostitutes.
Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that covering all above with a Basket, and regarding2 only what is below the Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one. And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement.
Lastly, They are so grateful!!
Thus much for my Paradox. But still, I advise you to marry directly; being sincerely Your Affectionate Friend.”
Facebook: Aoko Otieno