From Kamala, Kihika to Waiguru’s late marriages – even successful women need men

When Kamala Harris became America’s first Black, female Vice President (elect), focus turned to her personal life and how she and her husband Douglas Emhoff are absolutely fond of each other.

Kamala and Doug met on a blind date in 2013 which was set up by her best friend Chrisette. The then California Attorney General was 50 years old and had never been married before. Her husband was then a divorcee.

Nakuru Senator Susan Kihika also got married weeks ago to a man she met while in the 2017 campaign trail. She is in her late forties.

Kirinyaga Governor Anne Waiguru, a divorcee and quite accomplished in the political terrain in Kenya, being one of the first pioneer women Governors married esteemed lawyer Kamotho a year into office.

This underscores two things: That the notion that successful women repudiate men or attaining the acme of their professions or occupations means they no longer want or need men is a fallacious drivel peddled by alone and bitter feminists who are not shunned by men because of their success but because they are vile, idealistic and banal.

Few months ago, I hosted an online show where one of the panelists is a self –acclaimed but excruciatingly ignorant feminist both in the erudite and sensible form. I beseeched the Producer of the show to seek her because she had endlessly sort to school me on feminism (using insults) through her Facebook wall. I couldn’t wait for a one on one. Amongst the array of nonsense, she spewed, one of them was that men are intimidated by successful women.

The World’s most powerful woman Angela Merkel, Germany’s Chancellor is married. Africa’s second richest woman according to Forbes’ listing Folorunsho Alakija is married. New Zealand Prime Minister, Jacinda Arden, my most admired female politician in the globe right now is married to a Media guy, 42-year-old Denmark’s PM Mette Frederiksen married her 55-year-old photographer beau in July this year. Oprah Winfrey has dated the same man –though not officially married to him- for decades. She prides in cooking for him.

An archetype average millennial with one Master’s Degree begins to feel too accomplished and starts to move about with an aura of pseudo-sophistication, dumbed-down intellect, a repertoire of juvenile standards and consequently puts a wall around her that she feels behooves the men to climb. Who has that time to placate you just because you feel like the best thing that has happened to humanity after toilet seats?

Look around you, successful women are increasingly getting hitched out here because the degrees, titles and dollars will not offer you stimulating conversations, candid advice served on a platter of love, warmth and depth of companionship, shelter against the hails of life, a shoulder when the burdens and responsibilities of the office you hold come weighing down; neither will they cuddle or give orgasms.

Oprah’s man is a ‘nonentity’ who has written an average book which if it wasn’t for her name, wouldn’t have sold. But you should see how she gushes about him- because he is a good man in her sight. Who he is and being less accomplished than her is immaterial. Jacinda’s husband even quit his job to babysit their daughter- that is a purvey of a family oriented man. Susan Kihika’s so called businessman of a husband is functionally illiterate school dropout. She studied abroad (which according to Mutahi Ngunyi is very important) But she definitely saw something in him.

It shows you that the older a woman gets, the less she becomes hell bent on the so called ‘standards’ that often throng a discourse whenever you ask young women what they are looking for in a man. That these accomplished women settled for these men is an augury that the older a woman gets, her priorities and needs become demure, stable and pragmatic- all she wants is a good man. A man who will offer his shoulder for her to climb on as she reaches for the stars. A partner in times of need and fair weather. A pillar. A friend.

Memes, Eurocentric disposed media and feminists will lie to you that you men are evil beings responsible for the fact that you are a loser. Keep gobbling the argot from their movements until you are old, bitter, lonely and alone. You do not have to wait until you are older because you might not be as successful or lucky as those women. And that is why Aoko is here to remind you that if you find a decent man, well brought up, focused, hardworking and would want to see you shatter the ceilings- embrace him. Grow and build together, learn and unlearn together. Share in each other’s dreams, goals and aspirations- because life is a journey of uncertainties- a journey that becomes burdened by less tedium, less onerous when you find that person who will share your pain, tears, smiles, victories, losses and laughter

Allow me to add: anyone who has ever doubted they’ll find a loving, lasting partner. Anyone who struggles to find a partner who will support their ambitions. Anyone who thinks and feels they have lost the hope of finding that person because they are past their 20s or early 30s, the societal deadline – may you one day find your Doug- or Kamala.



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